So this will be my first post in forever.
I have never liked talking about myself, which I believe goes hand in hand with depression. When you have a low view of yourself what is there really to talk about? What interesting things do I have to offer the world? This was my mind set for almost my entire life. To work and family I appeared to be a functioning adult, I go into work early, work long hours, make good money and even have girlfriend. Beneath the surface, and when I’m alone the story changes. For years I’ve been hiding in my house when off of work, sitting or laying in front of the TV not even wanting to make myself a decent meal. I could count the number of steps I take after I get home on my hands and toes. The make believe persona I put on outside the house was exhausting and all I wanted to happen when I was at home was to be left alone.
Roughly 3 years ago I hit rock bottom. I was put through a hell and heartache I never thought I would experience from a person I once called a friend (my only childhood friend still left). It took me 2 years to recover from the emotional trauma I experienced and to change. During this time I started to realize a lot of things about myself and started making minor adjustments to my personality and my outlook on life. I started to realize that you can be a nice guy, but you don’t have to be a push over. I started to realized that not everything is my fault, I learned to let go of the of the demons in past and look to the future. I stopped letting little issues worry me to death. For the first time In my life I can honestly say I am somewhat happy.
For those that known me in real life, they know I’m a big guy. I’ve always had weight issues. Through Junior high I weighed in at 230lbs, high school 250lbs, in 2008 I was 285lbs and to September of last year 365lbs. I’ve tried losing weight before, I’ve tried all the fad diets all the work out routines and all the easy way outs as my depression would only allow minor motivation for this. I’m proud to say that since September of last year and because of my life lessons learned over the last few years, that I have been able to bring healthy changes in to my life. I now have the motivation I need to follow through and as of this morning I am down to 325lbs. Albeit I’m no where near done, I am counting calories and am finally doing it right! I’ve come up with a motto for me (if you don’t have a motto, you should find one it helps you focus on you). TAKE OWN LIVE.
Take back my life.
Own my life.
Live my life.
This blog will be dedicated to my experiences in accomplishing the above.